Their life changed in that instant. For most of my marriage, I failed miserably at this. I'm saying it.". originally published: 02/25/2022. He has lost so much weight. It was an energetic night. I'm in the same boat as you. It Is the unknown that we are dealing with that just makes this all so scary. he asked me to do something I do it and he snaps at me for doing it , I just don't know what to do for the best anymore. now, here we are again, and I feel he just will not help himself. Dawn xx. But I'm realising now that i'm left with mental scars. Hey Cancer, I know you know you suck, but Im going to tell you again. I do not see him being here by next year. Throughout the pandemic and her husband's cancer battle, the page has grown into a community. We trying our best to be positive but it so consuming. Do friends and familly know? Ive met so many amazing people who I consider friends now, and I never thought something so great can came out of just trying to make my husband laugh. The doctors have told us we probably wont have that. appreciated. We did not expect they would come back and say that I had a tumor in my brain. Its amazing how many people Ive been able to interact with, and I would be honored and flattered to do a podcast or anything on TV. I can more than relate, Beth. I cant tell you how many promises to our kids Disneyworld, a camping trip out West, boat trips, and future father-daughter dances to name a few now all hang somewhere in a sad cloud of uncertainty. He can't be in this house while he's being treated. When Lisa Marie Riley found out her husband had an aggressive 8lb tumor in his stomach after complaining of a stomach ache, her sister and friends set up an Instagram account for her and told her that, instead of texting them on their group chat (which she hated), she could just post videos to Instagram for them to see. 2023 Cable News Network. How do you take care of them and keep the look of impending doom off your face and staying positive when we know our life now is over and were also avoiding this Coronavirus at the same time. But you took that, too, Cancer. In 27 years of marriage, I had never touched his feet. Since then he has completely shut me out of his life and became so threatening and verbally abusive that I had to leave. I really don't want to hijack Paddock's thread too much so please do start one yourself to talk about this because I do know something about the stresses of genetic cancer - My wife recently died of a form of ovarian cancer as didher mother and several others in her familly - they were all positive for a gene called BRCA 1 - My daughter has hust had the test and has been found negative!! Nancy Hopper This is my suggestion hopefully others will have ideas as well, hope you get sorted soon and have a good future. They couldn't perform the biopsy because I couldn't breathe well enough to be put on anesthesia. Not once has he bothered to see if I'm ok (I have an elderley mum who needs support, and autistic son and a full time job. It gave me 60 seconds to just take my mind off my terrible reality and give us some time to laugh. I look around at these people here now normal people. Staten Island-based, Brooklyn-bred Lisa Marie is one funny wife and mom. Alongside the lighthearted videos, Riley would provide updates about her husbands cancer treatment. There is no affection, physical or otherwise. This is so frightening. When Lisa Marie Riley found out her husband had an aggressive 8lb tumor in his stomach after complaining of a stomach ache, her sister and friends set up an Instagram account for her and told her that, instead of texting them on their group chat (which she hated), she could just post videos to Instagram for . Really sorry to hear that - I'm at the other end of that journey - my wife died after 3 years of cancer back in October. Her Instagram has nearly 200,000 followers. I hope all is well with you and your husband, susan hesselgesser It will push you into boundaries you didn't know existed. Because we can work around the brand on how you think the world perceives you butyou need to go out there and ask random people, 'When you think about me, what'rethe first few thingsyou think of?' For tickets, click here. He had a pump fitted yesterday to give him pain and anti sickness relief and that is certainly helping. As @onefunnymommy, she became a social media star in a matter of days. Im scared to death. My husband has also accused me of stealing money 9 Not true, but think he has) and has already brought another woman (I think an escort ) into the home I moved out of , for an overnight stay. Old house, smoking, dust, animals. If you want to give back, share this with someone who could use it and leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen, so more people find this show and benefit from these conversations.If you dig the show, CLICK HERE to learn how you can make this experience 3D by joining our 10,000 NOs Insiders Community: access to a members-only Facebook group, intimate, weekly Live video calls with Matt, including monthly drop-ins with some of his badass past-guests & VIP friends and more. Is he so ill, that he needs taken care of or has he reverted back to a childhood state, you are his wife not his mother. Not suitable for someone being treated for cancer. Yes sometimes husbands and wives do change afraid no idea why. My husband is in shock that me just posting these videos got me to where I am. Follow Makin Waves at Facebook. Statistically speaking, my 55-year-old husband had a 50-50 chance of dying from his Stage IV oral cancer. A mom's Instagram monologues about being a parent and caregiver to a husband with cancer have gone viral. Im keeping all those. He's the best husband anyone could ask for. Since then he has been dismissive and cruell and downright nasty. Have you sold out the St. George Theater yet? . He got worse more angry and more controlling. We have had a real roller coaster of a week, but we have so much support from various cancer organisations which has been so welcome. I appreciated the article because it placed communication as "Number One" on the important list. Id flattered if they did, but nobody has ever confused me with her. I hope you don't mind me joining this conversation - I have been reading your stories and I hope you are both coping ok. Listen to @onefunnymommy Lisa Marie Riley: F Cancer & Choose Laughter from 10,000 NOs. Infidelity is the elephant in the room of cancer treatment. I just take each day at a timeand gratefully accept every offer of help given. I can remember only two instances in the ensuing five years that we even exchanged strong words, and then we immediately apologized. Did you encounter any technical issues? Sorry I'm too upset to continue, take care, Hi Paddock, twice I have tried to reply to your email but got so upset after reading yours that I'm finding it really hard to find the words to reply. You cant steal the vision of his old smile or the sound of laughter so deep its just snorts. Now he has died I'm left battling against all the **** memories as well as trying to get sleep patterns back. I will never forget his response to my question the day before his 60th birthday. She is followed by over 500k fans and her tiktok videos have amassed over 2.7 million views! Thank you for your reply. However, my loving partner is grieving & operating under the assumption that there is nothing she can do to increase my life span. How is his sickness ? See acast.com/privacy for more information. Life can change in an instant. And her family gives her plenty to make folks laugh. I'm just wondering if cancer has done this to other men, or if he's just decided to show his true colours? I can hardly cope with this unknown and it breaks my heart to see him so weak. My husband has been on chemo tablets which haven't worked , and he was due to start a last week but he is in hospital as he has been really ill and therefore they are unable to start the new meds. There's help out there for you. The neurosurgeons finally determined the tumor to be malignant & we have been told there is a 5% chance for survival of 5 years beyond the operations. I hope you have a close family who supporting you, as well as your husband. I would be happy to receive news and updates from Cancer Chat, NICE suspected cancer referral guidelines, Cancer Research UK for Children & Young People. I more than understand what you have said. Riley soon began started delivering monologues about her daily life. Friends however close and trying to be helpful, cant help how I feel at times. This has made him feel very sick and tired. This birthday ending in zero? His answer was No. Have you got some support? And her family gives her plenty to make folks laugh. And her family provides her with plenty of material from which to draw laughter. as well as other partner offers and accept our. CNN Sans & 2016 Cable News Network. I'm so glad that you now have support in place, it must be a huge relief. I remember Saturday nights when we were people who went into a restaurant and ate good food, people who drank beers and Long Island ice teas. Because they need you. Not many friends either as he was never a very social person and didn't really like to hang out with friends much. Someone please help I need advice Im in beast mode I have to do everything I possibly can for my husband. But I feel for all of you going through the same. doctor for support, Also consider wether he needs to speak to his doctor about how he is feeling if he is feeling low/depressed. Which brings us to the next point. You need your space as you have a lot on your plate. I went through radiation treatments & was pronounced "cancer free" for the next 15 years. we're still waiting for my son. If your husband was a decent man before maybe it's the cancer that has caused him to react in this way. He went to the Dr as he was always tired, had chest infections, but the Drs fobbed him off every time. But I feel my heart is breaking, and in so much emotional pain and physical pain, I struggle to cope at times. Thank you very much for the article which I just had the opportunity to read. My family is my favorite source of material for my jokes. My lovely partner died last September from terminal lung cancer. As his caregiver, I did things I never imagined doing: cleaning open wounds, changing bloody dressings, and feeding my husband through a tube in his stomach. Letting them know they hurt you and I used to tell him when he was out of line, that or just get up and leave the room. The 77-year-old actor's management shared an update incorrectly stating that he passed away on Tuesday, July 26, 2022. I had made a vow to myself that if he ever laid a hand on me I'd leave. How Humor Helped Woman Cope with Her Husband's Cancer Fight. Anyone who has received a cancer diagnosis holds an indelible memory of the moment the words You have cancer were uttered. Surely with counseling and dedicated hard work, we could have changed destructive patterns in our marriage long before; but without the impetus of cancer, Im not sure we would have. No sanitizer, no Lysol, going back and forth to hospitals taking a chance. I was told I had throat cancer in 2004. I am worried that they will say he is not strong enough to start a new course of chemo and if so, then what? It influences my humor in a way where I can joke about growing up Italian and having people relate and laugh together. Maybe assomeone else mentioned on here could you stay at a friends for a few days to give yourself a break,write him a letter with some happy memories and also how your feeling now which he could read and reflect on. Wish me luck!!!!! Some how ( and I really don't know how ) we have to try andbestrong and comforting forthem. Im all about family and home life so I like to put it in funny context so people can share similar experiences. He buries his head with the cancer in some ways and to the world makes out he's strong where I see his true mix of emotions and his fear at home. more than 2 years ago, I am going thru this now. Sorry you are here but welcome none the less. My spouse's diagnosis made me realize just how much I loved him. We are a team & we have far too many grandchildren to love & to spoil before we leave this earthly plain. I walked in this same bar the other day to pick up sushi takeout, but I left instead with a memory of fun times so thick and heavy I could literally taste the sugar off the rim of those blue martinis I drank that night. Lost my sister in July 2018 to cancer just buried my Dad in October 2019 now husband is stage 4. I really wish I could say something positive to you but I can't, because I share the same fears, anger, anxiety and stress that your feeling. His name still hangs on a plaque at the local swim club for a record no one has broken since 1988. If you want to give back, share this with someone who could use it and leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen, so more people can find this show and benefit from these conversations. He has to go back Monday & Tuesday. We've had a rough week, my husband started his 5 days ofradiotherapy on Wednesday. We were already having difficulties in our marriage, when he told me. Think of the alternative. David didnt live to see his 61st birthday. Since his discharge from hospital on Friday ,I have really noticed him going downhill. We went on holiday for 2 weeks, where we walked miles as he felt fine apart from stomach pains. Regardless, she is devastated by the current situation. While my husband David did not die from his cancer, his diagnosis did introduce the stark reality of what could happen. Once, Riley dreamed of being a weather girl. How did you find hilarious mommy on Facebook. My husband of 37 years was diagnosed w/ grade III brain tumor in 2012. more than 3 years ago, 5 Lessons on Dealing with a Spouse with Cancer, Copyright caregiver.com, Inc. 1995 - 2023. My awesome spouse & I have been together since 1974. Up until now I have been able to come home and check on him every couple of hours, but he he's gotso many appointments coming up I don't see how I can work and support him. Ironically, alone with my husband in that hospital room, away from the cacophony of a house full of children, and despite being robbed of his speaking ability, David and I learned what it was to effectively communicate. My husband is evil onthese but it is a necessity. If I say I'm in need of a walk with the dog on my own I'm neglecting him. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and on our RSS feed. They did. I can't bear thinking of what's going to happen, I know he is scared but he won't admit to it, he doesn't even want to talk about it so I just watch him all white faced and weak and can't say nothing, I am very scared. l am not sure that everyone has that ability,especially when stress levels have long since disappeared over the horizon. He is the champion who held my hand through 12 hours of natural labor, encouraging me without fail until I gave birth to his firstborn son. I knelt down in front of him, removed his socks and shoes, and began rubbing his feet. Being ill is not an excuse for being a bully, it might explain being the centre of attention attention seeking person, but its not acceptable in a loving relationship. He went through a radical surgery, followed by a regimen of radiation, chemotherapy, and a clinical trial drug. If I don't challenge his abuse then I am an enabler. She is known and loved on social media as @onefunnymommy and became an almost overnight sensation. In later months my wife's blood figures weren't high enough for her treatment to go ahead and that was always so frustrating. Although I have told a couple of work colleagues and they are being very nice to me. Sign up for notifications from Insider! but it doesn't have to be lonely. He soon learnt. All we can do is take things day by day and hope for the best. * To protect your identity do not use your full name. I have my own medical issue which in no way am I comparing, but following some bad news about that yesterday he has today told me that I am medically trying to 'trump' him and take the attention away from him (even though I haven't told anyone else). Peace to you. I have loved this man since I was 15 years old. I would love to do both if I could. I've had a sister with dementure .. where yes she was angry at times .. and it wasn't her , it was the dementure but wer a big strong family that held everyone up .. How you can take that day after day , my heart goes out to you this covid makes things even harder as your probly stuck there 24 / 7 .. with no respite .. if it was me, I'd leave the room he's in, every time he " lost it" if not go all together please look after you too these replys understand how hard it must be .. talk to McMillan .. but don't feel guilty if you have to go what a sad sad situation You don't have to put up with this especially in such a young marriage - you are allowed to put yourself first. butyes it is scary (even more so for him I'd say!) She also will appear March 4, Hyatt Regency, Princeton, and April 23, Palladium Times Square, New York City. You cant take away the picture of him wrestling with our kids on the living floor or teaching them to swim. The year before 2017, We had purchased a home in another state( before his diagnosis) so we could down size.After the cancer diagnosis things got really unstable, so I left my husband and went there and moved in. Her TikTok videos have been seen more than 2.7 million times and she has over 500k followers. But I can already see he is losing weight. I dont mean to trivialize either cancer or the caregiving experience. The only thing left I can give you is probably just my middle finger. That aspiration has come and gone, but if someone offered her a talk-show host position today she'd be sprinting out the door of her family home, she said. Read More: Why parents and grandparents across the US are getting vaccinated in spite of their hesitancy. Cancer, you took every last tear I had. He wouldn't have left, and he wouldn't have gotten treatment. Whether its about doing her familys laundry or the pedicure prices in her hometown, shes amassed millions of views for telling it like it is, all while sporting her now iconic white hair clip. He died unexpectedly from heart failure the day before, just a few months after hed celebrated his five-year cancer survival. Thanks again for the reinforcement. Luckily I have some great friends who support me. 4. My husband tried loads of different anti sickness tablets before they found one which helped.