One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. A man found a bottle on the beach. Donut worry, be happy! From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street. Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. After a bar of chocolate one can forgive anybody, even ones relatives. It can make us feel happy and a lot more. Cause mocha is made from two of my favorite food in the world. The feeling of being loved can be a powerful one. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. So I just snickered. Here youll find the best chocolate jokes, were sure youll agree. An old man and a young man work together in an office. Do you mind if I share these chocolate with you? The man says, "And the Viagra?" A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. The smile looks really good on you. The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. Am i enough for you? We're also sorry the chocolate is half-eaten. Yo mamma so dumb, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Make a list of these one-liners and then roll them out like Maltesers. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) Hernando Corts, 1519, If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. God is watching the apples. Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar? Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid! Chocolates have the power to change peoples moods, and a box of chocolate will make most people happy also these chocolate one liners. Why not get started now? (Its the only planet with chocolate.). How dairy! Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes? . A PayDay. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. Babe, you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Your site is very interesting. Hell hath no fury like a woman who has sworn off fudge and chocolate. HER-SHEy's Kisses! There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and people who love you. But considering the pandemic that our world is currently facing, the most important thing is that laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. 1. A Choco-Light! Because he was moo-dy! I like a piece every day. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? He opened it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? If they dont have chocolate in heaven, I aint going. Because I would like one kiss from you. By eating a 1.5-ounce milk chocolate bar, you get the same amount of these protective compounds as in a 5-ounce glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate? One smart cookie. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? 1. What are you talking about? Chocolates can give us a lot of emotions. Donut be jelly. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand. There was a sign next to it saying, "what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down". John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. You definitely taste better than chocolate. Funny Cookie Jokes That'll Make Your Heart Crumble. Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate. 3. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Make sure to tell these to true . 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Required fields are marked *. 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk? Deal? The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! In yet another Laugh Factory gaffe in July 2012, Daniel Tosh found himself the subject of intense public pressure after joking about a gang rape. . A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Judith Viorst. It is well to abstain from chocolate in order to avoid the familiarity and company of a nation so suspected of sorcery [Spain]. Plump lady to the waitress: Id like Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in critical condition. Knock knock! Why is a Toblerone triangular? Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? Are you ready? Want to come with me? Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Do you think you need more sweet? Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. A: To get chocolate milk. 2. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. I love a man with chocolate on his breath. You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Its not funny when someone steals your chocolate! Julie Davis, Los Angeles Times, 10/30/85. What are the 4 major food groups? Chocolate fantasy in progress. Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less. EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? Huh?I opened a Mars bar once.I discovered martians love gin.Life is like a box of chocolatesMostly disappointing.A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.The boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105.The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate?No, says the boy. eating chocolate You You have this certain snap that made me notice you just like how I know a good bar from bad. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. I dont really get the jokes funny at all! Dark chocolate chimp. Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. A Butterfinger! Why? Enjoy. I have a couple twix up my sleeve. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate?He drank it before it was cool.What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate?A Kit Kat bar.What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?I just stepped foot on Mars.What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship?A chocolate chip Wookie.Whats the suns favourite chocolate bar?A Milky Way.Whats the opposite of chocolate?Choco-EARLY.What do you call stolen cocoa?Hot chocolate.Whats an astronauts favourite chocolate?A Mars bar.What fruit loves chocolate?A coco-nut.Why did the M&M go to University?Because he wanted to be a Smartie.What happens before it rains chocolate?It sprinkles.What do you call a cow with a stutter?Cacao. Half dark and half light chocolate. Lets check them out! A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. 5. 3 What did the egg say to the clown? (LogOut/ Boy I can make you melt in my mouth and in my hand like chocolate. Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. Fred: I dont know. Almond Joy To The World. Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Every jokes so funny I am enjoying your jokes and best of luck for new jokes. If one swallows a cup of chocolate only three hours after a copious lunch, everything will be perfectly digested and there will still be room for dinner. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. Because he wanted to be a Smarty. So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. The latest good news for chocolate lovers comes from a study indicating that flavonoids in chocolate are good for your heart. If you are a chocolate lover, youll surely enjoy reading these chocolate jokes too. The only favorite thing I have in this cruel world aside from sweets is having you in my life. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Our team has some to share with you. Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. "Don't worry, son. Do you know why?Son: I dont know. There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! A: Because it lost its filling I do not need anything special because you are enough special in my life. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Forget you put it in the microwave. A man found a magic lamp on the beach. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Then you could kill as much as you desire. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. I only wanted a weeks supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you. Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. Nibbling would be enough for now because I would like to save you forever. Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. Id love to be that cookie youre eating because they have the excuse to get close to your lips. Linda Grayson, The Printwick Papers. It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Do you like it dark or milky? You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Imogen life without chocolate! Because I would love to make up for if you let me. Mostly disappointing. Here, have some chocolate. A pound a day often. A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate. Heist cream! Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. by Taureano Ent January 12, 2020, 6:39 am 1.6k Views 3 Comments. Crushed nuts? asked the server. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. Our selection of dark chocolate jokes ranging from chocolate bars to chocolate cookies will make you laugh so hard. If you will allow me I would like to consume you everyday because I like the taste of you. Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! That way, at least youll get one thing done. If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.