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LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. He was 71 years old. ", 105. Well what if I don't want to? So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. ", 60. ", 119. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. "Forget the politicians. Yeah, the public sucks. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Everything He ever makes dies. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Forget the politicians. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. ", 100. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. ", 106. The game is rigged. It doesn't matter what side you're on. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. "I have certain rules I live by. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. You have no choice. Its because volunteers work for no pay. I'm f**kin' serious! They've got the judges in their back pockets. His entire bit is included in the nearly two-minute video perfectly conjoined with photos of Trump and the results of his administration flood the screen. Thats what the owners count on. ", 34. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. You only get to hear cats. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. Everybody says they suck. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. ", 122. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? ", 68. ", 63. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. ", 49. (LogOut/ Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. The Great George Carlin. I mean, life is tough. Maybe this time itll work. Nobeody seems to care. They own, and control the corporation. ", 11. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . ", 72. ", 96. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Then you're just what they're looking for. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. ", 7. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. "How is it possible to have a civil war? No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. On Election Day, I stay home. "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Then you live in an old age home. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. You're down to seven. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. ", 17. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. Fascism won it. ", 108. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. 234. "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. ", 6. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. "I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? The Monday night crucifixions! "But what I want them to know is that Im thinking. They own everything. Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. 'He's two' will do just fine. "I have lots of ideas. When a . LinkedIn sets this cookie to remember a user's language setting. It does not store any personal data. ", 103. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. "It helps to remember this.. They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. ", 5. George Carlin. ", 4. That is against their interests. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! ", 52. ", 79. If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. "I have as much authority as the Pope. The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. Everybody complains about politicians. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. They're all in favor of the unborn. What do you get at the end of it? After that, they don't want to know about you. '", 93. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. After that, they don't wanna know about you. 2. They own and control the corporations. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. The domain of this cookie is owned byOracle Eloqua. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. They will do anything for the unborn. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. George Carlin on The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder 1998 RayHamburger 95K views 4 years ago George Carlin on the Illusion of Choice in Politics. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. "I put a dollar in a change machine. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. They don't want to hear from you. ", 20. Forget the politicians. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ", 24. "Never argue with an idiot. You ever notice that? Obedience, respect for authority. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . Why? ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously. George Carlin. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. I think. "There's no present. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. ", 40. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. They dont fall out of the sky. The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. ", 101. They own you. He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. Thats right. This cookie supports the website's live support provider. Believe me, my friend. Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. "The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). they don't wanna know about you. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Let's start with critical race theory. It also helps in fraud preventions. Others see it half empty. I think the life cycle is all backwards. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. 43. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. ", 26. -George Carlin There you are. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. "There's a humorous side to every situation. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ", 8. Its you. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. They dont want that. But once you're born, you're on your own. ", 6. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - Doc Holliday. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. Carlin is funny as hell. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. ", 86. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. "People are wonderful one at a time. Thats against their interests. ", 82. Even right-wingers are getting tired of their queerphobic schtick. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. ", 10. You have owners. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. Fewer Texans. "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. ", 61. ", 25. ", 51. Board Messages . This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. ", 87. "It's never just a game when you're winning. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. 28. r/antiwork. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. They own everything" "They've. ", 48. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. . When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. ""These days many politicians are demanding change. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. I don't like cats. ", 67. Where are these people hiding? ", 102. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. And they all vote. ", 98. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, Back In Town, Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. Amen and Awomen. I didn't bother with him. On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . No president has done right by us. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. They own all the important land. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. But He loves you. ", 5. God has a three-day weekend. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 13. After that, they don't want to know about you. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Toothpicks? Teach them to question everything. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. George Carlin. He is famous for being named the 'The Dean of Counterculture Comedians.' His dark humor penetrates different issues of life, religion, language, and class. I just dont have as many people who believe it. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. You know what they want? I don't trust none of them. If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. ", 14. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. of American cultural paradoxes.. George Carlin Quotes On . Over time, though, his success grew. ", 55. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. Enjoy! Never join a group that has a name. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. ", 65. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. "It's called the American dream . The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. You don't. George Carlin. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. ", 11. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. #AmericaWakeUp. Lobbying, to get what they want. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech.  Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and ", 27. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. 01. This cookie is set by Prebid Server. This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. ", 43. A Death! Whats that, a bonus? The ID is used for targeted ads. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. I don't have to tell you my favorite comedian just like I don't have to say my favorite meal to tell the chef his food sucks.